Skeleton Keys and Memories

I have done it, though it pained part of me to do so. I have torn away my bonds and have returned to freedom. Returned to what I am meant to be. And in this freedom, there is a new spark, a new inferno that will soon grow.

I return to Montevalno, to tell my father. But I will not linger there for long, just enough time so that those that wish to make the journey with me might join.

If I see it with my own eyes, perhaps it will leave my dreams. Certainly it may become a nightmare for others, but I must ask myself: Do I really care about them, anymore?

...things in Amber continue to move about, as they do. It is always some new gossip here, some interesting twist of fate. The Karm Manse is now in the capable hands of Wyatt once more, and it is good to see my cousin returned. He and I have a certain understanding of each other that I do not share with most of my Karm kin. Speaking of kin, I have recently met Walter. He is a very interesting man, and I certainly do enjoy spending time with him. I certainly did need the trip to Sukho that he stole me for, and it was interesting learning to work with each other. I think, perhaps, that I managed to surprise him a time or two, which always makes me smile...

...things with Cantoluna progress, if slowly. It is delightful, to be part of such things, to put to use the talents that I have developed over the years. Carnivale could not come soon enough, though I still must commission a dress suited for such.  It is also time for me to visit the Collegias once more. To continue lessons I thought finished, but may perhaps be never-ending.

...It has been too long since I have seen certain people.  Rose, for one, and I have much to seek her advice on. Valentine. Sometimes I wonder if all of these delays are a sign, if I am eternally suited to be cortigiana onesta, belonging in truth to none. If the interest remains. And sometimes I dream of losing myself to the flames, of embracing this raging fire that burns away all else. How many times must one burn before the phoenix fully rises?

My Oath, sworn, has reached its end. And while Duty still calls me, is it time that I spread my wings, stand on my own, and answer no master save for myself?

 ... it is so amusing, sometimes, the things that people will say. And how eager some people are to slap down the truth. I find myself not lacking for companionship, as of late, and it makes me miss home slightly less. Rose is back in Amber once more, and there is much to speak to her on, before she disappears once more....

Vosah is a dear, always seeking to expand my horizons and potential. It is good to have someone to speak with on matters involving our family, to have a knowledgeable ear to bounce ideas off of. He certainly is too generous with his gifts and the time he allows me. I dream of the tower, and with only him might I speak of it. Who knows what the others might think. ...who knows if I care what they do.

... Wolves. Such magnificent creatures they are. Strong and cunning, incredible in their fierceness. My task should be no trouble at all. Emrys will look quite lovely on the canvas I've prepared for him. All that is left is for the moment to be right, the time to come. I wonder how well I can paint on horseback. Perhaps I'll have a carriage brought out for me to ride in, when it all comes down. Yes, that would be lovely...

...I feel it racing through my veins every night, twisting through my body and demanding more. Duty and loyalty and secret fires. How long will it take before I burn from the inside out and set this phoenix free?

Sometimes, I suppose, it is not a horrible thing to be engaged. It is even less horrible when the man is charming. Significantly less so when the charming man provides his betrothed with lovely, lovely presents that sparkle.

I suppose that it is time to take Rose up on the promise of a shared quest to find the perfect dress. And pick out flowers and a date.

Things in Montevalno progress, but slowly. Perhaps soon we will see an end to this fighting, though I have appreciated the chance to work on my swordsmanship. I must speak to Rose soon about the matter, once I discover if she's actually in Aventia still, or once more in Amber as I am.

As much as I yearn for home while I am away, it is good to see those I have befriended in Amber once more. Addison looks good in his uniform, I must admit.

It was, of course, wonderful to see Valentine. Interesting conversation was had. I look forward to this grand adventure we spoke of and having reason to bring out the Adventuress Leathers once more. Perhaps something different for the journey on ship, however. Something to show off my tattoo.

Still playing with the idea of getting a townhouse of my own in Amber to escape the three-ring circus that the Manse has become. Perhaps open up a shop, or a gallery. But I suppose that should wait until after I discover how the Duchess de'Mandrake's talks with Father go.

I am still back in Paloma for a trip that has become longer than what I intended. Who knew that such a small thing like a brewing war could take so long? At least I have had the chance to do some shopping, reading, and get some... work completed.

The tattoo has been completed, at last. A blast of bright red and orange, like the flame I now call my own. It is a strange thing to admit, that while I am here, home, I miss being the Phoenix. But there is more than one duty that is mine. Phoenix. Contessa. Alumni.

Rose wishes to speak, and I must off to go pick up the customary bottle of wine and the usual dagger to keep up my sleeve. Perhaps, for the first time in this return to our home, the news will be good.

Giant Spiders: Ew.
   Spiders that are more than just spiders: I'm beginning to hate it when Gilgamesh is right.
Bugs of Unusual Size: Still far too many.

Rooftop Adventures: 2
  Rooftops, fallen through: 1
  Concussions: Ow.
      Bonus: Cute Doctors.
  Lessons Learned: 1

Coats Ruined: I think this makes 2, now. (Who knew world-saving would take such a toll on my wardrobe?)
Former Dukes, now mentor: 1
   FDNM, Bastards: 1
   FDNM, Fond of: 1
      Favours owed by FDNM: 1

Phoenixes: Still Rising.

Bugs: Ew.
Gates: Far too many for the Center of All.
Cousins: 2
Crazy plans: Numerous.
  -Crazy Plans, Successful: ?
  -Crazy Plans, Mine: 1
       (note: Diving into a house full of bugs to dramatically torch all of the vile things works out with far fewer bug bites in my mind than it did in     reality. Still, it was a minor sacrifice. )

Houses, on fire: Erm. Perhaps I should have thought that through a bit better.
Houses, fallen on Theo: 1. Again, oops.
Trials by Fire: Ha ha.

Times carried home by impressively-shouldered cousins: 1
Phoenixes, rising: 1

May I never again complain for a want of things to do.

Things have, suddenly, become surprisingly busy. The trip to Begma was a success, and I feel quite accomplished, having sent my first God That Should Not Be (tentacled version) back to whence it came and sealing it away for good. I lost one of my favorite boots, but such is the way of things.

Not long after returning, I found myself hostess to Addison and Theophrastus. It was...quite the conversation. But I have gained much from it, the least of which is a chance to practice my art on Addison.

No, not that art. The tattooing. I have been up far too many hours working on the sketches, but that is the way of the artist. We obsess.

Hopefully, none of this will get in the way of Masquerade season, which is surely approaching soon. ...if they do such things in Amber. If not, well. I shall simply have to force those dear to me to come to Paloma and we shall have a marvelous party there! Take that, Amber society. Pff.

I look forward to the arrival of my commissions from Valentine. I've still not managed to show off the last one, but all happens in due time.

For now, I shall resist this horrible temptation to dye my hair red and gold. Though I do have to wonder where that ...woman... with Gilgamesh got the feather.

Things in Amber have been, surprise, uneventful. I positively yearn for the theater and galleries of home, not to mention the various sights.

I have, however, come to find some tiny measure of appreciation for Rose's husband, Addison. He is more than he appears, and I should have expected that, knowing Rose.

There was an unexpected visit from Theo de'Mandrake and Addy the other night, of which Gil was also a part of. Apparently, the world is falling apart and there's something that must be done about it. We spoke of many things, including the possibility of one being a dragon, Duty, and things we really MUST keep sealed away. It will, perhaps, be good to put my Karm abilities to the test. I suppose that I should increase my studies, and perhaps start seeking out actual...teachers. But I have stumbled across something, in my readings. A path slightly different than the basics, or the magic of the candles. It might be the right one for me. Perhaps mother will know more of it.

In less serious matters, I've also met Valentine de'Mandrake. My my. I certainly look forward to the arrival of my commissioned jewelry from him. And his coming along with it.

Abraxas and Savio are settling in nicely. Pinks is not yet deceased. Must see what I can do about that. Need to visit Valerian for more wine.

By more than an inning, but perhaps a season. Much like Rose's dress.

But, after wandering through other character journals and speaking with my dear sister Rose, I have decided to succumb, and offer up Adrianna's Jam. Some of the songs are painfully obvious in the reasons why I picked them. Others, well. One can't be a snotty little brat all the time.

Man Eater - Nelly Furtado
Give It To Me - Timbaland, Justin Timberlake and Nelly Furtado
Wicked Game - Stone Sour
True Love - thoushaltnot
Slow Hands - Interpol
Time Is Running Out - Muse
I'd Start A Revolution - Aimee Allen
Butterflies & Hurricanes - Muse
The Undertaker - Puscifer
Senzafine - Lacuna Coil (English lyrics here)

...
...I have arrived in Amber, and already made contact with Rose. She is the same as always, and was kind enough to share some knowledge. I also met her intended, and as much as I may dislike my sister, she could quite honestly do much better. Perhaps if he had a decent meal and a bit of time in the sunlight....

Abraxas and Savio are adapting well to their new home. I will have to see about a more spacious place for them. It seems, here, they won't be at a lack for company.

... the fatal flaw in mother's plan seems to be the current lack of family that I've seen at the House. I've witnessed one woman, flitting past on a few occasions, but I've yet to actually speak to anyone of the House of Karm. I wonder if they are even aware I am here. Ah, well. That duty can wait. I've got blades to sharpen.

...